For me, Pride isn’t about acceptance, it’s about recognition. It’s about showing that there’s more than one way to live a legitimate life. It’s about proclaiming (and even shouting if necessary) that the most “obvious” queer person is just as deserving of respect and dignity as a queer person who can pass as a straight person from central casting.
It is the eagerness of people to dismiss other people
who they view as weird that perpetuates stereotypes. People must take action to
apply a stereotype to other people. That process is a strange combination of
conscious and subconscious. Stereotypes do not merely radiate from the person
being stereotyped. To say that the perpetuation of stereotypes is the fault of
particular aspects of Gay Pride events or what someone terms as flamboyant is
far too close to blaming the victim in my view.
Mormon culture rewards conformity to a very narrow
band of acceptability. The broader American culture rewards conformity as well.
Neo-Victorianism pervades many aspects of American religious life, even though
it has led to hypocrisy and psychopathology all too often. These are things
that many of us will likely have to work through for the rest of our
lives---individually and in our communities. For our own self-respect and emotional
health, work through it we must. Turning up our noses at the parts of Pride we
don’t like is the same as the people we view as intolerant turning up their
noses at us.
I agree there should be a broader range of voices
involved in Pride. I’m glad there is a diversity of voices. That is vital. In
fact, the range of voices has continually grown over the years. Take for
example the experience this past summer of a good friend of mine who spoke with
mother who came to Pride on her own to find out how she could support her gay
child. I bet that mother raised her eyebrows a few times as she walked around
Pride. But I’d bet even more that she gained something valuable in talking with
my friend and in participating in something outside her comfort zone.
Beaches and swim meets also have scantily clad people.
One important part of Pride for me is that it challenges the often arbitrary
nature of what is deemed acceptable in particular settings. People may feel
uncomfortable with people dressed in underwear and covered with glitter and
feathers. Oh well. I'm uncomfortable with the fact that there are still local
and national political leaders who say they will gladly “die on the hill”
fighting an expansion of gay rights. But I don’t think they’re the majority of
people who are grappling with their views about gay people.
If someone doesn’t accept me, fine. If someone wants
to apply a stereotype to me, all I can do is be myself. I can’t control the
smallness of the mind and heart of another person. I can live genuinely in the
hope that people of good will eventually will expand their understanding and
compassion for other human beings. But I will say this: If someone starts
violating my civil rights, dehumanizes me or uses their disdain for me for an
insidious purpose---or does that to someone who I love or someone among my
people---that’s a problem. In large part, acts of violation, dehumanization and
disdain are why Pride began, and why it’s still needed.
I guess I’m a “big tent” person who doesn't mind that
there may be a couple making out in the corner while everyone else is just
chatting and supporting each other.
Amen. I get frustrated with people who dismiss Pride (coming out day, anti-bullying day, etc) because they've decided it doesn't apply to them, it's too gay, perpetuates stereotypes, etc, etc. To me, these individuals reflect an inability to see beyond their own needs and opinions into others' lives.
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